If you’ve ever written an RFP response, you’ll know the feeling: the pressure to impress, the nerves, the endless prep... and the hope that, somehow, they’ll choose you.
Sound familiar?
That’s because winning an RFP bid is a lot like going on a first date.
You’re meeting someone new, trying to prove you’re the right fit, and hoping your charm (and track record) seal the deal.
But just like dating, the secret isn’t about being flashy or overconfident it’s about being genuine, prepared, and easy to trust.
Here’s how the rules of romance and RFPs overlap and what that means for your next proposal.
1. You Both Want the Same Thing: A Good Match
Every good relationship starts with compatibility.
The same goes for RFPs.
If you’re trying to force a fit - chasing contracts that don’t align with your experience, resources, or values - it rarely ends well.
Buyers can tell when you’re bluffing. Just as in dating, desperation isn’t attractive.
Lesson: Only pursue bids that genuinely fit your strengths.
- When your solution naturally aligns with the client’s needs, everything else feels effortless.
- Think quality over quantity. You don’t need proposals you need the right ones.
2. Preparation Shows
Procurement teams can spot a templated response within seconds. It tells them you didn’t listen, didn’t care, and probably won’t deliver with precision.
Turning up to a date without remembering their name? Instant red flag.
Submitting a generic, copy-paste proposal? Same energy.
Lesson: Do your homework.
- Study the buyer’s objectives, values, and pain points. Reference their priorities in your answers.
- Nothing’s more appealing, in business or dating, than someone who’s clearly paid attention.
3. Talk About Them, Not Just You
Ever been on a date where the other person spends an hour talking about themselves? That’s what most RFP responses sound like.
Buyers don’t want to read your life story they want to know how you’ll make their life easier.
Lesson: Flip your language.
Instead of: “We have extensive experience delivering…,”
Try: “You’ll benefit from our 10 years of experience delivering similar projects.”
It’s a small shift, but it changes everything.
Make the proposal about them, not your corporate autobiography.
4. Authenticity Beats Over-Selling
You wouldn’t promise marriage on the first date.
So why promise the impossible in a proposal?
Overselling, promising half the time for half the cost, might win attention, but it rarely wins trust.
Lesson: Be confident, but real.
- Underpromise slightly, overdeliver dramatically.
- Buyers, like daters, value honesty over hype. They’d rather partner with someone genuine than someone who sounds too good to be true.
5. The Small Details Matter
On a date, it’s remembering their coffee order.
In a bid, it’s meeting word counts, naming files correctly, and referencing key details from the brief.
Lesson: Details signal care.
- When your formatting, structure, and tone are consistent, you send a subtle but powerful message: we’re professional, reliable, and attentive.
- The smallest gestures often make the biggest impression.
6. Chemistry = Clarity + Confidence
The best first dates have flow; that easy, natural rhythm where everything just clicks.
Winning proposals are the same.
They read smoothly, answer clearly, and exude quiet confidence.
Lesson: Write like you speak when you’re at your most professional and relaxed.
- Avoid jargon.
- Keep sentences short.
- Use headings to make navigation effortless.
When your writing feels calm and confident, evaluators can sense it, and they’ll trust you more.
7. Follow Up (Without Stalking)
No one likes a ghost or a pest.
Whether it’s a polite “thanks for your time” after a first date or a request for feedback after a bid, follow-up shows professionalism and respect.
Lesson: Win or lose, always ask for feedback.
- It shows maturity, builds rapport, and positions you for the next opportunity.
- Relationships, business or otherwise, thrive on communication.
8. Long-Term Relationships Beat One-Off Wins
A great first date isn’t the end goal, it’s the beginning of something lasting.
The same applies to RFPs.
Winning one bid is exciting, but turning that success into a long-term client relationship is where real value lives.
Lesson: Deliver exactly what you promised — and then some.
- Consistency builds trust.
- Trust builds loyalty.
- And loyalty keeps your pipeline full.
Your best future bids will often come from the relationships you’ve already earned.
Final Thought
Winning an RFP isn’t about being the flashiest option in the room it’s about being the right one.
It’s about clarity over charisma, reliability over rhetoric, and showing that you’re a partner they can trust.
Just like a great first date, the goal isn’t to impress for one night. It’s to start a relationship that lasts.
Need help crafting proposals that make clients swipe right?
At RFP Solutions we write RFP responses that build trust, chemistry, and long-term partnerships not just first impressions.
Contact us
info@rfpsolutions.co.uk
07403 409 396